True love: Does it exist?

It began as a casual chat, then it went on to become a discussion and before it could wear the colours of an argument, I thought it’s better to write a post on this topic.

Topic: True love, does it exist?

When we talk about love, I would like to address it in it’s entirety. We know that as per Greek language there are four kinds of love: agape, eros, philia & storge. I completely endorse this worldview as I feel English as a language has it’s own limitations when it comes to expressing / defining a word of such depth and intricacy.

I believe in love. As social beings we have the capacity and the desire to love and to be loved. Love forms the basic foundation of human relationships and institutions like marriage. While scientists still argue whether the act/feeling of ‘love’ is hard wired into our brains just like hunger, pain, etc; there is enough evidence around us about the fact that love very much makes the world go round. As a society and as a civilization we depend, survive and thrive on love – whether it’s love for things / people / animals / the self, etc.

Now to address the topic – firstly when we say true love, we automatically add a sense of dualism to the subject. While ‘dualism’ in itself can be discussed for eternity; all I’m trying to make a point is – if ‘true love’ exists, then there should exist ‘false love’ too. And if there is something called as ‘false love’, how would you define it? Would ‘false love’ mean failure to love somebody; a failed relationship; the inability to stay committed to one person; or simply a form of lie? If at all we succeed in defining ‘false love’ the point is that it just ceases to be ‘love’. It can very well mean lust or infatutation or even simple attraction.

Secondly, ‘true love’ in it’s very utterance seeks to be idealistic. And let’s accept the fact that we don’t live in an idealistic world. Reality is that we all are in many ways flawed. Yes we seek / aim to be idealistic. In existence we are not. It’s like saying ‘true democracy’ exists in India. Yes we are a democratic nation and we believe in democracy. But does ‘true democracy’ exists anywhere? I have my serious doubts. To quote another example it’s like saying ‘true justice’ / ‘true ethics’ exists in a particular society. Yes justice and ethics do exist, but are they true? Think about it.

Finally, we should also acknowledge the influence of literature and myth in creating and propogating the idea of ‘true love’. Most of the holy texts talks about ‘unconditional love’. Many an old literature thrives on the concept of ‘one and only true love’. It’s one thing to be fascinated with idealism while building your own web of reality & constantly striving to achieve it; and it’s another to accept reality as what it is and lead a rational existence. At the end of the day it’s a choice we make. And we live with it. What matters is whether we respect the choice made by an individual.

~ by rb on December 6, 2009.